Some Things an Emeritus Pastor Learned
After 26 years of service, I recently became an emeritus minister. I was granted early retirement for medical reasons (Lewy body dementia). This gave me cause to look back and reflect on some of the things I learned, on and off the pulpit. Some of these will be amusing to any reader, but all of them should be instructive for new or aspiring pastors.
Bible Software vs. Books
One of my earliest blunders in ministry had to do with Bible software. I was a missionary, so I thought it made sense to focus on building a digital library, rather than a physical one. So I bought a Bible software suite, along with some expensive resources. Soon afterwards, I bought a new computer and the software wasn’t compatible with the new version of Windows. Moreover, the company went out of business and so I was stuck. After that, I gave up almost entirely on digital resources. Ironically, the only exception was for pdfs of rare books from the medieval or Reformation period.
One upside of physical books is that both the software and hardware never go out of date. Another upside is that they can be loaned or given away to others. A downside I’ve discovered since my journey to retirement began is that it can be difficult to reduce a substantial library without throwing books in the trash. The interest in books – even really good books – is sadly not what it used to be. There’s no easy answer to this problem.
Spiders, Ants, and Other Critters
I learned early in my preaching career that there are some things you absolutely cannot control on the pulpit. One of those is the insects and arachnids that will inevitably distract you from your task. More than once, I’ve been preaching when a spider descended from the ceiling onto my sermon notes. I tried to discretely dispatch it. Similarly, ants have sometimes made their way onto the pulpit. Worst of all was the church in a rural area that was beleaguered by flies. The flies had invaded the church building too and most of them seemed to be attracted to the pulpit. Unlike the spiders or the ants, there was no recourse for relief. I just had to constantly swat them away.
The Dangers of Flailing
Pulpits come in many shapes and sizes. I always disliked the small pulpits with barely enough room for my notes, let alone a Bible. When I was a fourth-year seminary student, there was a church I frequently preached at with such a tiny pulpit. Perched precariously on the edge was a glass of water. One time, as I was getting quite animated with my hands and swinging them out, I knocked the glass over. I learned it’s a good idea to be aware of the size of the pulpit and adjust your gestures accordingly.
Beware the Missing Page
I have never preached from a device – except on one occasion, but only for part of a sermon. I don’t trust a tablet. I fear the technology will cause more trouble than it’s worth. Paper is reliable, so I’ve always brought printed notes with me on the pulpit.
However, it happened once that my printer had been running out of ink and one page was only half-printed and another page was missing altogether. I only discovered this moments before the service began. Thankfully, I had my sermon notes online and I referred to those via my phone at that moment in the sermon. No one noticed.
So, two lessons came out of that: first, always check your sermon notes before leaving home to make sure all the pages are there and in good order. Second, always have a backup. From that point forward, I always took my phone with me to the pulpit (on silent mode – another topic for another time).
Prepping for Prayer
This story goes back again to my first year of preaching. I was a guest preacher and I was asked before the service to pray for Sr. K., who was celebrating her 87th birthday on Tuesday. I didn’t know Sr. K. or her circumstances at all and I didn’t think to ask. So when I came to the congregational prayer, I said, “Be with Sr. K. as she has her birthday this week and as she is getting closer to her death.” I knew it was stupid as soon as I’d said it. It turned out Sr. K. was quite healthy for her age and would go on to live for a few more years. I learned that, if I was leading a service as a guest preacher, I had to ask for details about the people I’d be praying for.
I have many other stories (like this one), just as any experienced preacher does. Most of these stories gave me lessons about things that weren’t covered in seminary. Looking back, I made a lot of blunders. I’m thankful that, when my blunders were obvious, people in the pew were patient with me and gave me room to grow. Let me encourage you to do the same with today’s inexperienced preachers. They all have to make their own mistakes, experience their own challenges, and hopefully learn and grow through them. We do, after all, have this treasure in “jars of clay.”
